Talking to Your Boyfriend About an Unplanned Pregnancy

Did you recently take a pregnancy test and are now contemplating how to tell your partner or boyfriend you’re pregnant? Whether this was a surprise or not quite what you envisioned, an unplanned pregnancy can feel overwhelming. However, remember, you’re not alone. There are ways to approach this conversation with your partner in a supportive and productive way.

Here are some tips to help you have a successful open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your unplanned pregnancy.

Take a Deep Breath Before The Talk

• Acknowledge your emotions. It’s important to allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings and not push them aside. Doing so is crucial for emotional well-being because it promotes self-awareness and understanding, and leads to healthier coping mechanisms. Suppressing your emotions can lead to increased anxiety and stress, and potential long-term negative impacts on your health.
• Gather your thoughts. Gaining clarity is important for discussing the unplanned pregnancy with your boyfriend. Writing down your thoughts, feelings, potential outcomes, and solutions not only helps organize your ideas but also ensures a more effective and constructive conversation.
• Pick the right moment. Choose the ideal time for your conversation. Opt for a private and calm environment where you both can talk openly and honestly without distractions. Aim for after-work hours when he’s relaxed, on his day off, or during the weekend if he doesn’t have a busy schedule. 

Open Communication is Key: Having “The Talk”

• Use “I” statements. Using “I” statements such as, “I took a pregnancy test, and it came back positive.” avoids accusations and focuses on the situation at hand.
• Communication takes two. Communication is a two-way street, so it’s important to encourage your boyfriend to share his feelings as well. Mutual honesty will aid in understanding each other through the conversation.
• Listen actively. Whether he’s surprised, scared, or excited, provide the space for him to react and express his emotions. Allow him to finish his thoughts before responding. Actively listening and waiting to respond will also encourage him to listen to you before speaking. 
• Stay calm. Regardless of the conversation’s direction, try to consistently speak in a calm tone and avoid raising your voice or accelerating your speech. Your calm and composed response sets the tone for the conversation and serves as a reminder to keep the discussion positive.
• “We” are in this together. While you’re carrying the pregnancy or considering other options such as a termination, emphasize that you’ll face this as a team.

Remember, there will be future questions and concerns, but by fostering open communication and approaching it calmly and with respect, you can successfully navigate the situation together.

Your Next Steps to Take

At the Problem Pregnancy Center, we understand unplanned pregnancies can be a challenge. That’s why we offer various no-cost and confidential services to help you receive clarity, support, and resources to navigate this situation confidently. We provide:

• Free pregnancy tests
• Free limited ultrasounds (upon qualification)
• Options counseling
• Resources 
• And more